Eurovision First Impressions

Here are my first impressions of this years competitors in the Eurovision Song Contest. These songs will be the first 10 to perform in the Second Semi Final on Thursday 14th May.

Croatia 33/100
Mournful waily Balkan song of tragedy. Again.

Ireland 32/100
Angela Rippon seens to be fronting a cross between The Go-Gos and B*Witched. 80s synth pop. Poor.

Latvia 31/100
An odd fusion of rap, rock, recession and Russian.

Serbia 10/100
Dull Balkan dirge. The best thing is the hair do inspired by the hair bear.

Poland 34/100
A beautiful woman singing a ballad... Just not a very good one and not very well.

Norway 84/100 Bookies favourite to win
This is a pulsing rollicking sea shanty, with high production values and a surging rhythm. Singing about his imaginary lost first love, sadly the singer sounds like a castrated Dalek.

Cyprus 52/100
1 minute and 47 seconds is too long to get to the first chorus. This Indigo Girls B Side wannabe is lilting and sweet but not an attention grabber. A continent will put it's kettle on during this song.

Slovakia 18/100
What goes through the mind of East Europeans when they put together these long winded off key balladic duets?

Denmark 42/100
Ronan Keatingsen plods through a Westlife B Side. Typical Danish entry from recent years. They seem content with just about making the final.

Slovenia 53/100
Slovenia always try something distinctive. This year they have entered a song contest with an instrumental. After 1 minute and 13 seconds we get the first sung word. There are only 15 of them in total anyway. The singer is an Economics Student. She has rationed her words in these times of austerity... Should make the final. Will finish 21st.