Here are my first impressions on this year's competitors in the Eurovision Song Contest. These songs will be the first nine to perform in the First Semi Final on Tuesday 25th May. Moldova 80/100
Urgent, insistent strings will open the event this year. This hi-energy dance track is a big departure from the folk dance seam which Moldova traditionally mines. Will be a summer floor filler, but similar to Bulgaria 2008, this may not be the kind of track to qualify for the Final.
Russia 38 /100
Russia spent a record £35m in hosting last year's Contest. Immediate first impression is that they are not keen to fork out so much again so quickly! By the end though, I have developed a certain sneaking regard for the unique sound of this track. For the sake of variety if nothing else, I hope this makes it through.
Estonia 99/100
Love it! This is so not Eurovision, but a great track with a wonderful 80s melancholia.
Slovakia 74/100
Pretty fresh faced woman sings pretty fresh sounding song in her native language... This is what Eurovision is made of. Think Estonia 2008 or Israel 2005. This will certainly beat Slovakia's highest ever finish of 18th.... Can she sell it hard enough on the night to make it Bratislava 2011?
Finland 64/100
The opening staging suggests two Tim Burton-esque jilted brides, armed with accordions and macabre intent. Within 40 seconds you're clicking your fingers and imagining yourself skipping through a Finnish meadow. This folk ditty will almost certainly not make it to the final. It should of course be given an automatic let straight through.
Latvia 34/100
The melody of this track is quite insistent and builds nicely. What possessed the lyricist, 'only Mr God knows'!
Serbia 12/100
A botoxed Boris Johnson performs this year for Serbia. In accordance with Article 64, Chapter 5, Paragraph 3 of the EBU Eurovision Rulebook, in a draw which took place on the 4th February 2010, Serbia drew the right to include the word 'Balkan' in it's song title. It seems compulsory that someone has to include it, though this will be much less successful than last year's 'Balkan Girls'.
Bosnia Herzegovina 8/100
Ooooh. Sssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssoft rock! Dull.
Poland 1/100
There are two reasons why Poland is the 300/1 outsider to win this year... The notes and the lyrics. Cruelly robbed of the title when they came second in 1994, Poland must really look again at what makes a contender. This ain't it.
Moldova:
ReplyDeleteEIGHTIES FLASHBACK!
This is like Adam Ant meets Madness meets Debbie Harry meets Spandau - except their love child turned out a little retarded.
Not sure if I like it or not.
RUSSIA
My computer refused to stream the YouTube of this song... bad sign straight away.
Yawn.
...
Did he just say "Lord of Mercy?"
...
Yawn
OK. Enough.
My verdict: Crapsticks, deep fried.
ESTONIA
Does this guy have tourettes? Epilepsy?
Why does he keep lifting his mic to his left ear?
OK, Sweetheart, don't dance.
He needs some MAJOR stage presence coaching. From someone who isn't high.
This song will be good if and when someone does a dance remix.
For now, not good enough.
SLOVAKIA
ReplyDeleteThis lady dresses funny.
Is this another Dum Tek Tek?
Then again, I found myself turning the volume up.
Ah perfect Eurovision fodder - a dancy beat for rhythm and a little ethnic sound overlay for some supposed credibility.
Still, it doesn't stand out.
FINLAND
Well, this should be fun. Those crazy Fins usually are.
Oh dear, they're going the blonde in a party dress route.
Ethnic Abba meets celtic fusion!
Oh shame. the men are too ugly to be allowed up front.
It's all Agnetha and Anna.
I feel like I'm at a Greek restaurant and there's a wedding party in the back.
Whatever
LATVIA
Oh boy, another song with God in it. He gets everywhere, that bugger.
"Why are the skies so blue and mountains high?"
"I asked my Uncle Joe but he can't speak"
She really is a dumb blonde, then.
Ah an accordionist and women washing clothes in bowls. How ethnic.
Chorus: "What for how we living what for how we crying what for how we losing only Mr God knows why."
Well, I just had a revelation in bad grammar.