Volcano Punchlines

Where are they now?!

The couple with the TGV tickets arrived into Paris at the same time as our ferry pulled out of Calais. Presumably they sailed either around midnight or the next day.

Nice airport did not open for two more days. Mmmm Bran Flakes!

A few weeks later my mate confessed all.
It turned out that when he was stranded in Milan he had been put up in a 5 star hotel by BA and the Concierge there had managed to get two tickets to the San Siro for the European Champions League Semi Final between Inter Milan and Barcelona on the Wednesday of the week.
He hadn’t wanted me anywhere near Milan because he didn’t want to leave until he’d been to the match!
I have no idea whether there really was a 5 hour queue and no trains to Paris until the weekend then because he was such a lying wanker.

My mate from Milan finally returned to work on Friday to much mickey-taking. All anyone had to do to piss him off for the rest of the term was walk up to him and say quizzically… “Milan… Sydney?”

Being back in the UK meant I didn’t mind being on hold to the BA call centre for over an hour. When I finally got through I pretended I was still in Sydney and asked them how soon they could get me home. I was given a return flight date five weeks and four days later than my original date of travel. When I told them I wouldn’t need that flight as I was home already, (after stopping sounding astonished)they organised a refund on the unused half of my ticket. Thank you British Airways.

Apart from £35 excess, I got back every penny of insurance because I could prove that despite the Act of God, I had been abandoned by my carrier for more than 24 hours. Thank you again British Airways.

My boss was so impressed that I got a Gold Commendation... Can you tell I work in a school?!

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